All the years of my life, until a few days ago, the dreams and goals I envisioned — if achieved or attained — I believed would finally make me feel better. I would be able to relax and start living my life.
Then my Self arrived.
And suddenly it became clear: those dreams were thoughtforms of the collective — imprinted through my parents and society — dreaming themselves through my body and mind, running and pushing the physical “me”.
No wonder I felt like a ghost all my life.
The resistance was to resist being a host for projected fears and pain. Without a Self, a core, I was only running aimlessly from the ghosts — and rebelling against anyone who hosted similar thoughtforms that were owning me and running my life.
The shift I was waiting for was not a manifested achievement of life. I was waiting for my Self to return, to occupy my body and mind.
Now I am living my life.
New Moon in Gemini, with ruler Mercury conjunct the New Moon — also ruling the South Node in Virgo. The North Node’s ruler, Neptune, is conjunct Saturn, newly shifted into Aries. Such excitement.
Suddenly, repeating experiences were observed with newly embodied split perceptions. I became able to discern and track different energies within myself and others while owning my Crown.
With all the thoughtforms still haunting my dreams, I see them in the daylight. With chaotic, cloudy and heavy thoughtforms and karmic energy in my clients, I see their inner selves radiating with sparkling divine light.
The magic — the breakthrough I was waiting for — arrived in the most ordinary and dramatic way.
I can feel the clearing, healing, and integration process rapidly accelerating. For months, it has moved from the heart to the solar plexus chakra — and now into the second chakra and root. Shifting away from survival vibration.
There is a stabilized, embodied strength emerging, along with a new flexibility in the mind.
I doubt anyone can clear enough thoughtforms, karma, or other people’s energy from their space. But with a grounded Self, we are supported to engage with life — without being driven by thoughtforms into endless cycles of fight or flight, escape or projection.
I hope you’re also feeling this giggling excitement — the renewed hope and curiosity for life under this Gemini New Moon.
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